The day I first put my finger in my anus. Along with the unfamiliar, stiff sensation that I had never felt before, there was a strong sense of discomfort. This wasn't just a feeling from my finger brushing against something. There was also a moment when I felt something warm but rough. All sensations were concentrated at the entrance to the anus. I don't believe in God, but at this moment I wanted to. This is my memory from when I was 10 years old. My atonement probably started from that day. Even if it might never be forgiven, I don't care. When my anus is stimulated, strangely my nipples get aroused too. Just this alone is enough for me
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