There might be a masochistic and perverted side of herself that participated in the project. Specifically, she says she wants to be driven to the edge with deepthroating. Not just her throat, but also her body and mind are pushed to their limits. Perhaps due to the sense of security from having a female director, she gradually exposes more of herself, becoming engrossed in pleasures she never knew existed, awakening into a full-blown masochist documentary.
